On April 1, 2001, the Netherlands became the first country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage. Twenty-five years later, for Russian queer couples it remains a place where they can not only formalize their relationships but also live without constant fear, the protagonists told Novaya Gazeta Europe.
Anastasia and Olga, who lived in a small Russian town, began dating in 2017. They said that by 2019 the family decided to seek asylum in the Netherlands: their daughter was about to start school, and they believed it would be impossible to hide their family structure for years. The fast-track procedure ended up taking more than two years because of the pandemic, staff shortages, and a long backlog.
After moving, the women said it took time to unlearn habits formed in Russia. What struck them most was the ordinary reaction of people around them: an elderly neighbor approved of their relationship, and their daughter’s schoolteacher happily noted that the girl had two mothers.
“There, you are always waiting for something to happen to you. Here, you are the same as everyone else,” they said.
The couple later registered their marriage. Because they had refugee status, they faced no bureaucratic barrier. The ceremony took place on July 8, a date important to them because it marked when they met. Their Dutch marriage certificate is recognized in many EU countries, although it has no legal force in Russia.
Zhenya and Ilya met in 2018 and left Russia for Armenia after February 24, 2022. Zhenya later got a job at a Russian-language media outlet abroad and moved to Amsterdam, insisting that his partner move with him. To obtain a partner visa, they had to collect proof of their relationship, including messages and joint travel bookings.
On March 24, 2026, they registered their marriage at Amsterdam city hall on a free wedding day. After the ceremony, the celebration continued with a canal boat ride and a home dinner. The couple said that even after years in a safer environment, they still feel the effects of the constant vigilance learned in Russia, while the recognition of their relationship and the ability to openly call each other husband have become the clearest sign of their new life.