After the start of the full-scale war, many Russian families faced painful conflicts over how to view what was happening. The article brings together stories of people who tried to change the minds of parents and partners who supported the invasion while preserving family ties.
Kristina says her family regularly visited relatives in Ukraine before 2014, but after February 24, 2022 both her mother and father backed the war. Conversations with her mother ended in arguments because she accepted the narrative of “denazification.” Over time, Kristina began sending her videos by Maxim Katz and recommending interviews by Yekaterina Gordeeva and Yuri Dud. The turning point came after the mobilization announced in September 2022 and Kristina’s departure from Russia with her husband.
Her mother later admitted she had been wrong, told her daughter she was ashamed, and apologized for failing to support her at the hardest moment.
According to Kristina, her mother now uses a VPN, follows independent sources and discusses the news with her daughter. Her father, by contrast, has not changed his position, and they no longer speak.
A similar path is described by 35-year-old Sergei. After the war began, his father, an Afghan war veteran, first spoke of “fascists” attacking Kyiv and later came to support the war himself. After emigrating, Sergei tried not to sever ties: he went to a psychotherapist, agreed for a time not to argue about the war, and then carefully discussed rising prices, blocked services and reports from independent media with his father. In his view, the move from full support for the war to skepticism took about two years.
Vera, who had lived in Ukraine for several years, told her mother what was happening, разобрала televised falsehoods and showed her original videos. Later, when the war upended her life and she had to return to Russia to arrange a visa, her mother began to rethink her views. Vera says they are now “on the same side,” and her mother’s former respect for Vladimir Putin has disappeared.